Okay, so I bought the book and the story. I supply the hope and he supplies the audacity. That was the deal wasn’t it?
I didn’t know it was just fiction.
Thanks to the Supremes and their greatest hit ever (to freedom and democracy), not to mention the fact that there is only one audacious party in Washington, we can now put hope in the same bag with the polar bears, clean air and that old liberty and justice for all silliness.
I’ve been battling so many negative things lately that I almost forgot the one most important thing in the universe, as far as my life is concerned.
I’ve got my Mojo back! It’s been so long it’s been gone, I cannot even remember what it felt like as a small child when it was still intact.
Long ago, I locked up everything that mattered to me in a little box to keep it safe from those that wanted to take it all away from me. And somewhere along the line, I lost the key. And lo and behold, some time after I had given up searching for the key, the box opened of its own accord. (Though I personally think Kundalini snuck in while I wasn’t looking and picked the lock).
And now my creativity is flowing like a floodtide through my head, my house, my heart, my life. It’s a challenge to find the energy to use it much, but just having it… mmm… it’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten in my life and I vow never again to take it for granted.
The artist is back!
I have come to believe that they want us all to die. All the sick, the disabled, the creative ones unable or unwilling to conform. I have never been very fond of life… too painful for my tastes. But I’ve recently released a lifetime’s cache of creativity and I want nothing more than to have a life and a body capable of bringing my visions to life.
But I’ve discovered myself too late… my body has been all but destroyed by the poisons of our “great civilization”, both the very real and toxic poisons we ingest, inject, irradiate, etc… and the poison of the mandate to conform.
Even if I had my health back, what I would have to give this civilization is something it no longer values. Art is dying. Right alongside the rain forests, polar bears, frogs, and freethinking wo/men. Extinction is all I see when I close my physical eyes and really see.
We are done and the humanoid creatures in their limousines and private jets will inherit a wasteland. Maybe they’ll find a way to cruise their yachts forever around the globe and live on great stockpiles of Spam and Twinkies that will not rot before they do.
Well, not quite. But I am selling my artwork. You can see my shop at:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/PAlexandria
::sigh:: Yet again, overinflated, over-privileged, under-brained white men are trying to quash the freedoms of women though congressional misuse of power. If this Stupak amendment passes the senate, I think it’s time for women to take matters into our own hands. To handle our own reproductive care.
And I propose an amendment to this health not-quite-care bill that says that absolutely NO government funds of any kind (with the same kind of restrictions as the Stupid-Act amendment) should go for male erectile dysfunction. NONE. NADA. ZIP. We should see how men like their reproductive freedoms messed with… Grrrr…..
Did I take the Blue Pill or the Red Pill? All I recall is purple….
I can create, innovate, think and intuit… and I can almost see the IZ. Am I blessed or cursed?
After 8 years of our government systematically spying on our phone calls, trying to reverse laws concerning control over our own bodies, lying to start a vicious and expensive war which we may never be able to pay for, actively pursuing the rape of our planet, torturing and killing anyone they deemed to be an enemy….NOW people cry Naziism and Hitler with the first president in a long time with a chance to restore a little dignity and humanity to this country!
And you wonder why I want a divorce from the human race?
Can there be anyone else out there who knows what I am talking about? Needle in a haystack… uhoh… I am allergic to hay.
I’ve been thinking I should start my own religion. I will call it Alexendrianism. It’s all about not going to church, no dogma, no rules. There is no sin, no good or evil. There are no imperatives, nothing one should or should not do. My religion needs no followers and no one need read my spiritual writings.
When I was a teen, I was obsessed with philosophy and spiritualism, though I had read very little. I had had the physical Kundalini experience several times, the energy traveling up my spine to explode in my brain in a timeless maelstrom of sound and fear, and I can only conclude that that was the basis for my youthful obsession and feeling of aloneness in the world.
When I left home after high school, I decided to reject all of that and throw myself into life, into learning how to be a human within a society that was so foreign to me at that time that I can hardly express my profound sense of alienation. I learned how to talk to people, to go to work and perform in that environment (however ineptly). Don’t misunderstand me however, I was generally quite good at whatever work I did, but inconsistent and headstrong, with a passion for being and expressing myself in whatever I did. None of that went over well.
So now my Kundalini has reawakened and is currently storming throughout my body, wreaking havoc on my health and my entire belief structure. Oddly enough though, I find myself right back where I was at 16, quite sure of the oneness of all things and the absolute folly of absolute judgments of any kind.
So where do I go from here? Shall I be a prophet? A priestess in my non-church? Shall I retreat from society and spend my days pursuing OBEs? (Out-of-body-experiences) For all my years learning how to move through society without fear, I also find myself as I was at 16. Still certain that I do not share a great deal of awareness with other people. All these years and I find that my differentness was not just due to extreme shyness and an unusually high IQ.
What would it have been like I wonder, to grow up in a world where others had experienced Kundalini as children and were driven to understand the nature of being, rather than just acquiring position, money and possessions? I will never know, unless in another life and vastly different world.
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